When Caregiving Leaves Little Time for Yourself

Abena’s husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2013, shortly after she became pregnant with their first child. Her husband lived with his tumor for a little over four years before passing away. Abena did almost everything for him, from managing his medication to coordinating appointments, to discussing his care options. When her maternity leave ended, she was working full-time. She wasn’t sleeping, taking breaks, or going to the doctor herself, something she said she didn’t even manage to do until her husband had passed. She was unable to maintain her high intensity role at work and had to be moved to another position.

Abena also received training to take care of her husband, especially when he was undergoing chemotherapy and taking steroids. Towards the end of her husband’s life, Abena wanted to bring him home from the hospital. To do so, she was taught everything from how to get him out of bed to how to administer his medication. She thought she was being taught these things as a back-up, but when hospice began, she realized she was expected to be a full-time nurse.

Abena left her job to be a full-time caregiver. She cared for her husband the way she wanted to and knows she did the best she could with the options available to her. It was an honor for her to care for him.

Abena is a family caregiver from Washington, DC. She provided her story as a part of the National Alliance for Caregiving’s Act on RAISE campaign.