From Three Months to Four Years: A Caregiver’s Unexpected Path
Key Takeaways
- 56% of family caregivers felt they had no choice in taking on their role
- 50% of working caregivers experience work disruptions
Four years ago, Derrick’s life changed in an instant. After a serious fall landed his uncle in rehab, he was discharged and made an unexpected decision. He was planning to move in with Derrick. What Derrick thought might be a three-month arrangement has turned into a four-year journey of caregiving that continues today.
As a substitute teacher, Derrick values the flexibility of his work, which allows him to balance a job he enjoys with his role as his uncle’s full-time caregiver. His uncle, a veteran and cancer survivor, lives with limited mobility from significant knee and spinal injuries. Derrick now manages nearly every aspect of daily living for him—cooking, cleaning, bathing, laundry, medical appointments, and outings—while also encouraging his uncle to remain as active as possible.
The Veterans Affairs (VA) caregiver program has been a lifeline for both men. Derrick receives a stipend for his caregiving, his uncle’s health care is fully covered, and a nurse and physical therapist provide weekly visits. Social work support, home health aides, and respite hours add another layer of relief, allowing Derrick short but meaningful breaks.
Even with this support, Derrick’s caregiving role takes a toll. Higher grocery and utility bills create financial strain. Emotionally, Derrick navigates the stress of reshaping his independent lifestyle around his uncle’s constant needs, while also managing the tension that sometimes arises from clashing personalities. The uncertainty of shifting VA rules adds another layer of worry, especially as his uncle is once again hospitalized.
Despite the challenges, Derrick’s message to fellow caregivers is clear: take care of yourself, too. He emphasizes that there is no shame in receiving compensation for caregiving. “Even if you would do it for your family without pay,” Derrick says, “it’s still a job. Financial support makes it possible to keep going.”
Derrick’s journey reflects the resilience and complexity of family caregiving – an everyday reality for 63 million people across the US.
Derrick is a family caregiver from Michigan.
